Wednesday, April 18, 2018

BangDream: All Girls Ranked


25) Hagumi Kitazawa

CV: Yuri Yoshida

Putting Hagumi all the way at the bottom took a decent amount of thought, to be totally honest. I know that Hagumi fans hate hearing about the comparisons to Rin Hoshizora and everything but, to be fair, that played no part in her role at the bottom. Rin is actually my second favorite original Love Live girl, so I thought I'd like Hagumi. What I didn't know, however, was that her personality would be limited strictly to yelling, running, and playing softball. She's kind of cute but she's more of a child than anything else, really.

24) Maya Yamato

CV: Ikumi Nakagami

I feel like Maya was only added to the Bang Dream roster because all series like this need to have at least one girl that wears glasses. I actually think there might be a written rule for that hidden away somewhere. Unfortunately for Maya, there isn't really much more to her character apart from that. Sure, she's a talented studio musician or whatever, but is that really enough to be considered an endearing an unique character? You can talk about her talent and passion for music all you want but, at the end of the day, she's just flat out boring.

23) Kaoru Seta

CV: Azusa Tadokoro

I'm not even sure where to start with Kaoru. In fact, I don't think anyone is sure how to start with Kaoru. She takes the whole 'prince' archetype up to a whole new level and then some. If you thought Makoto from iDOLM@STER was boyish than think again because Kaoru is essentially just a dude. Mix that with her affinity for calling everything fleeting and you have a...well- she's certainly a character. That much really isn't debatable.

22) Eve Wakamiya

CV: Sawako Hata

Speaking of characters with weird catchphrases- Bushido! In all honesty, Eve really isn't all that bad. She's just really weird. It's kind of cute how into the Edo period she is but, in terms of obligatory foreign characters, she's rather lacking. So much so that she needs to remind us she's from Finland pretty much every other sentence. But hey, a lot of her cards are super adorable and that definitely makes her at least kind of desirable.

21) Rimi Ushigome

CV: Rimi Nishimoto

Rimi is cute. Too cute. There lies the problem. She's kind of like what would happen if Ruby Kurosawa stopped crying about literally everything and just started eating chocolate coronets instead. That being said, she's a rad bassist and Chocolate Bass Recipe is funky as all hell. Aesthetically, she't not really my cup of tea- but she'd probably be cool to have as a little sister or something.

20) Kasumi Toyama

CV: Aimi Terakawa

At first, I thought Kasumi was going to be just your average idol/band anime protagonist girl. But after getting to know her through the Poppin' Party storyline, I can safely confirm that she has several screws loose and is, in absolutely no way whatsoever, 'normal'. Kasumi isn't just your average protagonist- she's literally insane. She has no regard for societal constructs and unknowingly terrorizes her bandmates on a daily basis. I also don't understand her hair. But hey, at least she can sing and play guitar. That's cool.

19) Chisato Shirasagi

CV: Sumire Uesaka

I actually thought Chisato would wind up in the bottom three. And while I understand that this might anger a handful of you, let's cut straight to the point. Chisato is a friggin' bitch. Sure, she kind of comes around I guess- but that sense of entitlement and the "I'm better than you because I'm famous" attitude is such a turn off that I actually feel like punching her sometimes. I am a fan of her seiyuu, though, so at least there's that.

18) Sayo Hikawa

CV: Haruka Kudou

Much like Chisato, Sayo is also a bitch. But at least Sayo is a bitch with talent to back it up. Like it or not, Roselia is pretty darn rad- and a big part of that lies in the guitar work. She's pretty adorable on a physical basis too. But she'd be a lot darn cuter if she would just get over herself and give her damn sister a hug for crying out loud. I'm sure some people might buy her psuedo-tsun attitude but, at least to me, it just seems like she might just be trying a little too hard.

17) Tae Hanazono

CV: Sae Otsuka

Tae is...weird. I still don't fully understand her character. In fact, she might even be the character I know the least about because every chance she has to say something, she comes out with some left-field and nonsensical comment about the subject matter. I kind of feel like everything Tae says is tailor-made to confused the player/viewer. Either that or she's just so 'woke' that none of us normies are capable of comprehending her otherworldly (And surprisingly subtle) thought patterns. 

16) Tsugumi Hazawa

CV: Hisako Kanemoto

15) Ako Udagawa

CV: Megu Sakuragawa

14) Rinko Shirokane

CV: Satomi Akesaka

13) Kokoro Tsurumaki

CV: Miku Itou

12) Lisa Imai

CV: Yurika Endou

11) Aya Maruyama

CV: Ami Maeshima

10) Kanon Matsubara

CV: Moe Toyota

9) Himari Uehara

CV: Emiri Katou

8) Yukina Minato

CV: Aina Aiba

7) Hina Hikawa

CV: Ari Ozawa

6) Arisa Ichigaya

CV: Ayasa Itou

5) Tomoe Udagawa

CV: Yoko Hikasa

4) Saaya Yamabuki

CV: Ayaka Ohashi

3) Misaki Okusawa/Michelle

CV: Tomoyo Kurosawa

2) Moca Aoba

CV: Sachika Misawa

1) Ran Mitake

CV: Ayane Sakura

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